i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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