So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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