He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if only i could text you this smell
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
