okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?