A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.