Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes (1-407): i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes. http://tfl.nu/3nr6
  Replies (21) Good night (4055) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world. http://tfl.nu/0x21
  Replies (23) Good night (5075) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster. http://tfl.nu/yojg
  Replies (13) Good night (4377) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  college has opened so many doors for you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him (1-281): college has opened so many doors for you http://tfl.nu/e6am
  Replies (44) Good night (4467) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt http://tfl.nu/gv5c
  Replies (12) Good night (2397) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie. http://tfl.nu/8aj5
  Replies (9) Good night (635) Bad night (3791)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity. http://tfl.nu/x1wn
  Replies (25) Good night (4285) Bad night (1496)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea. http://tfl.nu/9kka
  Replies (9) Good night (4895) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/vakp
  Replies (12) Good night (4593) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay? http://tfl.nu/8s61
  Replies (14) Good night (2154) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby http://tfl.nu/ll5m
  Replies (10) Good night (549) Bad night (2410)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked. http://tfl.nu/s7s6
  Replies (6) Good night (609) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  You're a good friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that. (1-770): You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/ln0z
  Replies (2) Good night (1147) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/hp85
  Replies (5) Good night (736) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on http://tfl.nu/gqy6
  Replies (3) Good night (300) Bad night (318)

Randomize