to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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