Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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