Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize