I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
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Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
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I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize