Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
