we're blogging at a bar
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize