No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
