i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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