Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
