You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
