He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
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I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.