I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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