got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.