It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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