dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize