Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
