Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
