1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
