it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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