She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
