there's paper in my vomit.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
