I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
