I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
