Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
