It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my being single is dangerous.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
wow bdsm is so cute
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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