My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize