I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize