Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
