I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
