I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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