9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize