i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
