3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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