I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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