So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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