Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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