Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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