Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
