Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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