I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
