i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
