Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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