Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
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And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
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My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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