Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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