I'm going to jail i love you
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
