Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Two words: blizzard sex
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
