Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
