It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well I just put wine in my tea
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
