Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
