I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
