and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
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We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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