I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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