good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize