You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
