I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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