I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
