mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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