I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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