He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
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That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
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thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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