Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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