new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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